I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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