His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
