Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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