I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize