Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
