this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
