Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
