went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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