i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
