He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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