Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize