it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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