Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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