im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
