Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
