he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im holly from the hills drunk
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
