Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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