she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
