Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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