first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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