Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
