just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I didn't shave. On purpose
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
