Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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