I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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