YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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