Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
