allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
