That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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