Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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