She said her name was "party"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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