I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i permit you to call me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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