all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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