i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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