Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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