Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
