I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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