isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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