it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
