Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
