break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
