We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
