I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
