the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
