worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hippo gnu deer
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
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We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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