I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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