My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
