If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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