Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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