He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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