he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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