i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just want nice things and good sex
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
