She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
