I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize