he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
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Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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