my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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