My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
