Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
