I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
