I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
