I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
