Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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