dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
